April Fools: Twilight fans HATE Hunger Games’ success

We thank Savanna New of HGFiresideChat.com for pointing this out. We think you’ll get a real kick out of THIS STORY which ran on unogateway.com:

Image by starcasm.com

‘Twilight’ fans distraught over ‘Hunger Games’ success

By Jeff Kazmierski

twilightfans Photo by Joe Shearer/The Gateway

UNO freshman and “Twilight” fan Vincent Darkweather (above) mourns the recent success of the acclaimed “Hunger Games” book and film series.

“The Hunger Games” had a huge opening last weekend, raking in over $150 million in ticket sales and pleasing fans and producers alike. Its projected sales for its second weekend are $72 million, more than $2 million above original expectations. Overall, the movie appears destined to be a crowd-pleasing film, exceeding the take for its most prominent competitor, the “Twilight” movies.

But not everyone is happy. Omaha area “Twilight” fans, or “Twihards,” have been noticeably upset about the turn of events. Complaining on Twitter, Facebook and whatever lame-ass sparkly-vampire themed discussion boards they frequent, commentary has been bitter and vitriolic, bordering on delusional.

“It really sucks,” wrote Brittanie Glitterbum on her Facebook page. “Like, Edward is soooo much more manly than Peeta, or whatever his name is.”

Other Twihards complained about the movie’s lack of a completely pathetic female character.

“Who does Katniss think she is, anyway?” said moviegoer Alice Sparkles. “Shooting arrows and stuff, that’s what the boys do. She’s supposed to do stupid stuff and get in trouble so the guys can save her.”

But while most of the discussions centered on the characters and their lack of supernatural powers, some slightly more intelligent Twilight fans actually talked about the movies’ plots. Many were disturbed by the fact that “The Hunger Games” actually had one, which made the movie difficult for most Twihards to follow.

“There’s too much stuff happening,” Twilight fan Suzie Fanglover said after walking out of “The Hunger Games” within the first two minutes. “It makes my head hurt.”

Regardless of the ill will from Twilight fans, ticket sales for “The Hunger Games” show no sign of slowing down, and may, God willing, prove a serious challenge for the second installment of “Breaking Dawn” later this summer.

“We hope the success of ‘The Hunger Games’ means a brighter future for movies with plot, action and a discernable storyline,” LionsGate spokesman Joe Goodflicks said in an interview with Rolling Stone. “We have big plans for more such films, and look forward to kicking Edward Cullen’s pasty, white, sparkly ass.”

We don’t want to gang up on Twilight too much, but there is some pretty intelligent satire in this article. You have to admit — this is good stuff!

See full piece HERE!

Hunger Games Sites Pull April Fools Jokes

The Hunger Games is a very serious series, but the people behind the fan sites like to have a little fun. Today, three sites put together some really funny April Fools pranks. Get ready to laugh (and don’t freak out. These are NOT real!)

We start with this report from Mockingjay.net:

Josh Hutcherson to Bow Out of ‘The Hunger Games’ Sequels

Apr 01, 2012

Posted by Crystal • 255 Comments »
Categories: Actor: Jennifer Lawrence, Actor: Josh Hutcherson

As ‘The Hunger Games’ and the Girl on Fire continue to blaze through the box office, Josh Hutcherson is lighting a fire of his own. In an interview after the Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards, Hutcherson revealed that he won’t be returning to ‘The Hunger Games’ franchise for ‘Catching Fire’ and ‘Mockingjay’.

“As much as I love the fans and the support, the Peetaphiles that have come out of the woodwork have really started to scare me.” says Hutcherson. “I saw a video on YouTube of this grandma giving a tour of her room and my cutout was lying in her bed. It’s like the pillowcase wasn’t enough. And this is just the first movie!”

Hutcherson recently appeared on Conan and talked about how disturbing his fans can be and also expressed alarm at the term “Team Peeniss”. Co-stars Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth are reportedly trying to talk him out of making a rash decision.

Sitting in a cafe eating breakfast in Beverly Hills, Lawrence seemed genuinely distressed about her co-star’s dilemma. “I don’t know where this series would be without him. I guess if he’s not my Peeta I’d go drown my sorrows in a few dozen slices of toast… Pass the jam, would you?” When pressed further about Hutcherson, Lawrence snapped, barking out, “Give me a chance to wake up, all right? This Katniss thing is taxing stuff.”

Hemsworth wants to be supportive, but doesn’t understand the decision to run from rabid fans. “What does he think he’s going to do? Take off, hide in the woods? They’d catch him. Cut off his clothes or worse. He wouldn’t make it five miles.”

This is truly devastating news!! We’ll post updates as we hear them.Source: E! Offline

DON’T WORRY! That’s not real! And neither is this, from Down With the Capitol … or should we say Up With the Capitol:

Hello Hunger Games fans! Everyone here is excited to announce a new name, look, and attitude for your favorite site! Let us introduce you to the all new Up With The Capitol! Previously, our old site held a rather negative view of the Capitol and all of the wonderful individuals who call it home.

Well, fortunately, we’ve seen the error of our ways, and will now be delivering only the finest quality reporting on Panem. Everything that we post from this point on will be to counteract the traitorous lies we’ve been spreading.

Having trouble deciding on which shade of magenta to dye your skin? Afraid your snakeskin stilettos are so last season? Venturing out on a family vacation and not sure which Arena to visit? Everything you’ll need to know about Capitol life, you’ll now be able to find right here on UWTC!

Because we want to start things off with a bang, we’ve got a host of stories lined up for you today all the way from President Snow himself! Every story has been personally approved by him. Each picture and accompanying piece painstakingly reviewed by our incredible leader. Not many other websites can claim that honor!

Call us old fashioned, but we just think it’s time to show some appreciation for the people who do so much for us. Across Panem, citizens live in peace because of the tireless work of our Capitol. President Snow and his esteemed leadership team keep our borders secure and our bellies full. Tesserae is a gift for those of us in the districts, and we should never forget just how generous a gift it is. Ultimately, everything we are and everything we can be is because of the goodness of the Capitol. Revolution, or even joking about it as we have learned, is dangerous and cannot be tolerated if our society is to remain stable and sound. Each citizen, us included, must maintain this attitude or respect and thankfulness. Disaster will reign should we deviate by even a little.

So, stay tuned Citizens of Panem! Exciting things are planed for today. Needless to say, this has been a long time coming, we’re just so glad to be given this incredible platform to amend our ways. Down With The Capitol is no more– we officially renounce our rebellous ways, especially our misguided support of Katniss Everdeen!

Today’s Top Stories:

Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane, Retires

District 12 Escort, Effie Trinket, To Drop Debut Album Later This Year

Panem To Add 14th District

Notice that the letters in bold spell out HELP WE HAVE BEEN CAPTURED. SEND KATNISS EVERDEEN.

And lastly, we have this ridiculous story from hungergamesmovie.org:

Catching Fire, Mockingjay to be Split into Three Films Each

39 Comments April 1, 2012 by Filed Under: Gary Ross

 gary ross    Catching Fire, Mockingjay to be Split into Three Films Each   hunger games gary ross sequels 300x200The success of the Hunger Games has made the studio decide on a total of six more films in the trilogy, three each for the remaining books Catching Fire and Mockingjay.

Catching Fire Part 1 is on track for a November 2013 release and the final film Mockingjay Part 3 is on schedule for 2019. Jennifer Lawrence and director Gary Ross have both signed on for all six movies.

“The amount of storytelling in the next two books requires a lot more screen time,” Ross says. “We couldn’t do it without six more.”

Ross has some interesting ideas for the rest of the films. “We’re writing Catching Fire Part 2 as a musical, with the cast performing dialogue in the universal language of song. For Mockingjay 3 we’ll do a silent film. I was really touched by The Artist.”